PSSST… I have a SUPERPOWER

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So WONDER WOMAN has been my life long idol, and remains just the same right now.

I’ve chosen her costume during childhood and even pregnancies  in order to jump into her invisible jet, make aluminum foil bracelet guards, and red duct tape some go-go boots for plenty occasions.  She’s often been my muse!

 

I aways have gone back and forth as to which superpower I’d want if I could be given any.  Inivisibility to get through a store without being seen when my kids are out of control, I’m a hot mess… or frankly, the extroverted introvert in me just doesn’t want to talk even though my social fire can’t help but chat it up and run late for my next thing.  Inivsibilty could also let me be a fly on the wall at any time?  Hmmmmm……

But what about flying?  To be free as a bird and soar anywhere I want, no buckles, no gravity,  just me and the wind?  I man that’s a tough one.  Poor wonder woman didn’t choose right to fly and still choose an invisible jet?  Really think ya need the flight PLUS total invisibility (not someone seeing you soaring in some weird unseen carrier in the sky?  Sorry, girlfriend,  you botched that one.  Wasn’t feeling it.  I need BOTH.

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This ship has sailed, no more bambino making for me… But I’ve been working at this kinda wonder woman look for the past 13 years!!!

But… after all these years of wanting superhero status, it’s kinda hitting me.

I am a superhero!  

But, when appointed, I didn’t get to pick my power.  It’s a sneaky one bc it’s disguised in really ugly armor that looks like a big ol’ cross with cancer cells all over it.  But “NO!”  I actually have something more like Thor’s fantastic hammer, shaped like a cross (even  looks and smells like one.) But it’s actually a HUGE FREAKIN’ TOOL of untapped graces upon graces, that… IF YOU GRAB ON WITH ME… is the ultimate source of POWER, straight from GOD!  Cancer is actually my ticket to hold THOR’s HAMMER of GODLY GRACES THAT ONLY CAN BE TAPPED THROUGH THAT CROSS THAT JESUS DIED ON.    God would have NEVER put his only son up on something so horrible and hideous looking if there wasn’t a bigger picture .  The cross is not just a bloody massacre that ends there.  Nope.  It was a gateway to the greatest GOOD of everlasting life.  And if we can all grab onto our crosses as if reaching for THOR’s HAMMER (For real, please grab onto mine),  we are no longer under the heavy splintery weight of them.  In fact, we’re all holding onto this radiating source of power that can connect us all on a whole new level with one another in Redemptive Suffering and now SUPER HERO PRAYER INTENTION AVENGING!!!!  When you grab onto mine each time that you ask me to pray for someone,  I PROMISE you, I feel so connected while I sit in my radiation treatments.  I can feel us all holding onto it together.  

I HAVE A PURPOSE IN ALL OF THIS!  AND,  IT KINDA FEELS LIKE AMAZING!

 

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GRAB ON !!!

So, please send me your intentions.  Click on my PRAYER WALL TAB, comment, and give them up to me. We have an opportunity here, not a vice.  We’re gonna turn this villainous cancer looking flying object around and make it our source of power, tapping into the CROSS.  The cross is not a symbol of death; moreover, it’s the greatest source of LIFE we could ever encounter .

Can you tell I’m fired up???

Maybe they’re actually giving me GAMMA RADIATION in those daily morning whole head radiation treatments.  Maybe I am actually the hulk?!  Start looking our for the green aura on my face??  Maybe I can also glow in the dark?  Maybe my kids should start being a little more gentle with me in case SHE-HULK comes out.

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 (And trust me, just like anybody else..  this “3 Little Birds”  lady can totally turn she-hulk at anytime. Yikes!  Maybe I’m not a superhero and am actually more like Smeigel/Gollum of Lord of the Rings and I just need Frodo’s ring and cloak of invisibility?  … Or maybe I just rambled out loud and gave you a little insight to the random spaghetti-like thoughts of my brain     TMI?  

 

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All that being said,  I can’t possibly thank you all enough for the outstanding level of prayers, support, and generosity that is coming from the army, the navy and marines of all of you out there.  We can truly FEEL the love and prayers   My kids feel it, my hubbie feels it, my family, you name it.  My gratitude could never be put in words.   It’s limitless. Thank you!

 

So… allow me to update you a bit on what’s exactly going on:

  • My LAST DAY OF OUR FIRST LINE OF ATTACK… DAILY WHOLE HEAD RADIATION will conclude THIS WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 27TH!!!!  I’m gonna ring the hell out of that BELL!!!! We did it before, with all the kiddos (Yes, with all of us, the bell just keeps ringing for a good 15 minutes.  Sorry, Covington,  i think the whole town may here us.   (So, you can be with me in spirit that day, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27th @ 8:30.  My kids/family will be there  Set your alarms!  PRAY WITH US AND GIVE A BIG HOOT AND HOLLER (will probably actually begin the ringing at 8:45/9, once treatment’s done.  But 8:30am would be a good time to, to shout a big ol’ prayer and thank God in advance for my last whole head radiation treatment happening right then at that time.  

 

Elise’s Medical/Plan Update: 

  • So what now? As much as I’d love to have another brain MRI immediately after my last treatment,  radiation doesn’t work that way.  Radiation, much like a star in space has a delayed effect.  We do the radiation now, let it settle and do it’s thing, and we’ll see the results in our own mini-light years   In 2 months, I will have a follow-up brain MRI, once it’s had it’s time to do all the shrinking and disappearing that it possibly can.  In 2 months, we’d have an accurate account of what we were able to rid of in this first level of treatment   We’ll know, if any, tumors are left at that point.  As of now,  they say we’re possibly in the low 40s  of lesions/tumors (like shattered glass shimmered on a little halo over my whole head) that we have to deal with, along with about 3 medium-large, countable tumors on my cerebellum.  That’s what we’re working with   Now,  it sounds like the worst news ever, but…
  • WE ARE IN THE BEST POSSIBLE SITUATION THAT WE COULD BE, CONSIDEREING THIS DIAGNOSIS.  I’m not sure how well I clarified what a HUUUUUUUUUUGE WIN it was to have a clear PET scan for the rest of my body  My maintenance infusions each month are doing the hard work of eradicating and stopping cell/ tumor growth in all of my bodily areas that this beast of a disease has so aggressively tried to attack. We’ve been kicking ’em out and the reponse in those areas has been amazingly effective!!!  BIG WIN! Mark that battle with a flag.  We owned that one!  BOOM.
  • If, in 2 months we find residual or rogue tumors that are still here post treatment,  we have the ultimate secret weapon right at our finger tips: THE GAMMA KNIFE MACHINE.  Sounds crazy, but this technology is my game changer that says to all docs at any clinical trial hospital, etc.  that  they would send me right back here to be in the presence of this machine  This machine will allow non-invasive brain surgery (RADIATION TOOLS ONLY  NO CUTS)  to zap and pick off those boogers in the cleanest, most precise way known to the medical field  From my understanding, there are 4 in this world and 2 in our country … and we just so happen to live within an hour of this one.  Aaaaand, my radiologist (Dr.Charles WOODS) , who was my first radiatiologist 2 1/2 years ago,  was only moved from my local Mary Bird Perkins to Baton Rouge as their “director of Radiology for Mary Bird Perkins Cancer Center of Baton Rouge through Our Lady of the Lake hospital.  *Although we meet him for clinical follow ups each week in his Gonzales, LA office.  Still.. an easy drive to get the best!   
  • IF WE NEED THE GAMMA KNIFE:  My doctor would work side by side with one of the top Neuro Surgeons of the medical field for the procedure (or more, as they see this may be something we could have to do on an annual basis now that the cells have moved into that whole Central Nervous System space.  They could want to do this again.  However,  with bi-monthly brains scans, we’ll be constantly vigilant, of their whereabouts and catching them earlier enough on.     It could be my future,  and that’s a big pill to swallow.  But I’m in awe of the technology and know that I truly have been placed in the best situation for my diagnosis.  God is my divine physician, but I know he’s working through my doctors  I trust in my medical protocol and our plans (A – Z) if needed.  We’re ready.  Dr.Woods reminds me that, although my diagnosis is incredibly dire,  the brain is his “wheelhouse”. If it’s all contained right here in the brain, although the conversation is so foreign to the rest of us.  This is what he does and this is why he has pushed so hard to get this technology here.  He believes in it.  He believes that we’re going to get this (This is after he also very clearly let me know that if I did not begin this protocol and now.. I WOULD DIE.  My case is very grave, but if we do ALL THAT WE ARE DOING, IN FACT, RIGHT NOW… I CAN AND WILL BEAT THIS.  IT’S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE.  If he was a betting man, I asked him if he would put all his chips in on me because I’m a fighter or because medically,  it makes sense.  He said, “BOTH. BUT STATISTICALLY, THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR!!!!”  In the words of Madea,  “HALLELUJER. PRAISE THE LORT!!!” 
  • Meanwhile, I can do ALL THAT IS IN MY POWER TO KEEP A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE AND TOXIC FREE LIFE FOR MY KIDS.  We care about our diet (We are clean eaters around here.  Gluten free options are one thing that seem to help with my inflammation. I do that as much as possible to carry on for my children as well  It’s not just about me and my heath.  As a mother,  I want us vigilant on ALL THAT WE DO, THE ENVIRONMENT I LIVE IN, AND TEACHING MY CHIDREN HOW TO LIVE THEIR BEST, HEALTHIEST LIFE WITH NO REGRETS TO TELL SOMEONE, “Yes, my parents gave us a toxic free lifestyle (cleaners, suppplements, snacks, soaps, and diets” the way I feel confidence in knowing I’ve grown up this way.  Cancer still happened, but I knew I gave it may all and I did it for my kids. It’s one of the few “controls” that I still have as a mother with cancer.  I can still fight for my family (Soon enough,  you’ll see a “Wellness Tab” on my blog, I’ll bet ya that I will give some insights as to what we do and why.  For instance, we’re saving our funds to switch ALL of our water filters and faucets to bring ALL of us high-alkaline water, as I have been drinking it and allowed myself to be the “guinea pig” for the past 2 years  And boy has it helped my side effects  Thank you to my mom and Margaret Early (with side coaching to us from Jason Finley)  to encourage us,  supply us and make sure I’ve had the chance to try this step in my wellness.  (Each diagnosis, I’ve added a new layer: 1st Time: *continue Clean Eating and add essential oils to the program; 2nd Time:  Incorporate Kaengan High-alkaline water; 3rd Time: * Encourage any meal train to help me stick with my dietary protocol to give me AND my kids the best fighting chance at all of this.  Can’t thank my friends, Brooke Dugger Paulin and Molly Dugger Koenig for spearheading that aspect and helping me to continue on this wellness path that I want to build for my family.  “A LEGACY OF HEALTH AND WELLNESS FROM YOUR MAMA”.  I’m determined to leave a call to honoring and protecting their bodies as BEST as they possibly can  And I want it for more than just us👍
  • WHEN WILL SIDE EFFECTS SET IN?? My kids keep waiting for the “ball to drop”, so to speak.  But, like all the other aspects of radiation,  they will take note and slowly begin to reveal themselves as time goes on.  Today, as I write this, I still have a full head of hair on my head and the where-with-all to complete a stream of thoughts for my blog.  (Stay tuned as the weeks go on and these thoughts may start looking a little jumbled.  I’m making a sticky note now to remind me that I have this bloody blog thingy and will need notes on how to use and access it!  Mary Jones Collins (YOU started this bloggity blog for me,  I’m holding you accountable to help me remember to keep it going,  (FYI:  she’s the ultimate blogger officianado  Gotta check her out at https://sometimesmarthaalwaysmary.com.  You can thank me later.  I thank her daily for our friendship as she texts me the absolute BEST awkward selfies with a reminder for my memory loss:  “HI! THIS IS MARY!” (Feel free to follow suit.👍) Awkward selfie with introduction would be a great way for me to keep you all in my memory.  In fact,  go ahead and do so in the “comments” part of this very blog post!  It can go on twitter: #AwkwardBUNAselfie  Let’s make that the twitter topper this week!  My handle: #TeamBunaELT   Let’s do it!  (You can also click on the side bar here and follow me on TWITTER or TEAM BUNA FACEBOOK PAGE to stay part of the team with updates, etc.   As my world is both very large and small right now,  I ask that people please only send friend requests to my TEAM BUNA public FB page vs. my private account.   Thanks for understanding.
  • WHAT kind of MEMORY LOSS ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??   I will lose no intelligence or forget who I AM.  I will begin, soon, feeling the effects of “permanent short term memory loss”   I will know myself, my children, my close friends and family that I see regularly.  However, my ability to recall that name of that couple we just met at a party or do the right name recall for important people in my life that I just haven’t seen in years will be unable to be obtained. No name recall.  I kinda can already get that. Regularly,  I often forget why I’m in a room, and although I can recognize people, why and how I know them, etc…. I’m the WORST with names.  I often know names and faces, but can’t match ’em up.  Does that make sense?  I feel pretty much like I already know this side effect.  Sheesh! That was “Elise brain” already, then mommy-brain (5 times over), then “chrmo brain” (2x over), and now… permananent Radiation brain.   Oy!!  I’ll take all the excuses they keep giving me.  😉 Just thought I ougtta own it and let y’all know ahead of time.  If I don’t get your name, it’s not cuz you haven’t made an impression on me or that I haven’t loved or cared about you enough.  I just don’t have name recall.    *As my dear best life-long friend (and distant cousin!), Cecile Charbonnet Kerber, described it so clear and exciting (nonetheless)… Imagine the movie, “50 First Dates” with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.  I’m Drew’s character.  Every time you meet me, I have no short term memory.  So you’ll have to recreate our first meeting or win me over overtime you see me! 😘  This could be fun!  Remind me how we love to joke, we’re epic on the dance floor,  you’ve made me laugh till I peed before,  we have kids on the same football teams,  we both have mutual interests and kids that march to their own beat.  I’m excited to keep making all new friends again and again! Oh boy!😂  I’ve told my hubbie many times that if I ever forget who I am: Dress me in a different costume/accessory every day and tell me that I’m “Retired Wonder Woman,  your lasso of truth just isn’t working today.”  Or, slap a pair of fairy wings on me and tell me I’m the real Tinkerbell. We just ran out of pixie dust.. so don’t jump off of anything high! 😱… Or, maybe even give me a cape or a tiara and tell me the honor that I am the queen of the day.  Why not?  I wanna  be happy.  I wanna be me.  And, actually, all of those scenarios are in me.  You won’t be lying.✨  I’ll be all the more happy for you reminding me!  Thanks in advance! 😉
  • SLEEPINESS/FATIGUE:  This is the part I can’t wrap my brain around.  Supposedly, for a good 2-3 months post radiation,  I’m gonna want to sleep for anywhere between 10-12 hours a day!!! I can’t imagine.  In my most tired chemo or pregnancy-sick moment,  I’ve still bucked nap time.  I rather power through the day and turn in early.  But apparently, when they zap your central computer (my brain) , I won’t be able to mind-over-matter this one.  My brain will need to “reset” each day and hibernate to replenish all that’s healing.  This means it needs to recharge for everything from my voluntary to involuntary muscles   I gotta do it.  Like a chore, I’m gonna set my alarm to begin my daily naps as soon as the kids walk out the door for school so that I can (hopefully) get it all out of the way  while all are at work and school and be back in the game for my family by the afternoon/evening.  That’s how I plan to handle that one, and eventually,  that won’t be a permanent thing.  It’s just a season.  We can do this.
  • HAIR LOSS: Yes, I’m going to lose my hair for a 3rd time.  But, I know people who have indeed lost and regrown their hair 3 times!!! It is possible. You can add that to your specific prayer requests for me.  AND … YES!  I’m totally gonna have fun with it in the meantime.  TONIGHT,  my dear friend who has shaved and dyed my hair before, Shanna Latino, is coming over to indulge all of our wildest artistic dreams for things I woulda never had the guts to do before and dye my hair shades of silver, platinum, and BLUE with artistic shaves on the side and back of my head.  ❤️💛💚💜💙Why the heck not?  I mean, how many kids can say their mom has had rainbow hair and mohawks as many times as me.  Kinda makes me feel like a bad ass.  Nice. Cancer isn’t happening to me.  with each shave and hair dye… I HAPPEN TO CANCER.   I’m sure I’ll be posting cool pics of our peacock masterpiece on my head tonight or tomorrow!!!
  • SETTING THOSE ALARMS TO PRAY!!!  I’m so unspeakably thankful for everyone to answer to our #callofdutytopray response from my Instagram and TEAM BUNA FB post.  I’ve been flooded with texts and pics of people screenshotting me their daily phone alarm set to pray.  Some have decided to set it daily for 3:00 (with kids in carpool) with the ringtone/alarm to play “Bob Marley: 3 Little Birds”!  Gotta love that!!!!!!  (Ya know, they play that song for me on repeat though my whole treatment every morning.  That song totally just transports me to a “cast it all over to God” feeling and reiterates PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7 “Cast your cares upon the Lord and He will give you a PEACE AND GRACE BEYOND UNDERSTANDING”!!! (In other words, “Every little thing is gonna be alright!!!”    Thanks for praying with us and rallying all of your troops   I feel it.  Like.. I really do.  And so do my kids.  It’s giving us strength and hope beyond all reason and shadow of any doubt.

So there you have it.  That’s where we are, that’s where we will be, and that’s all the nitty gritties I can give ya to wrap your brain around my big picture.

 

 

SO… THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE, FOLKS.  TIME TO TURN IN AND START IN THOSE NAPS.

STAY TUNED FOR:

  • Updates on links to purchase TEAM BUNA SHIRTS.   *As the weather cools, we’ll make long sleeve shirts and sweatshirts available again (You may be good, but since our first t-shirt campaigns, my kids have aged and grown and want new ones all around.  All shirt proceeds will go to BUNA’s HOPE.  Click, join and support this legacy that I have every intention of laying down.  FAITH, HOPE, LOVE, LAUGHTER… FAMILY.  #BunasHope #ByFamiliesForFamilies #LaughteristheGreatestMedicine #TeamBUNA
  • Updates on TBA packing days/dates/times  to get the whole community, families coming together side by side, to pack our care packages (Buna Boxes) and rally the troops/raise the funds so that we can keep sending more families on our “BUNA’S HOPE VACAY GETAWAYS” and, much like St.Jude’s “Make A Wish”  grant wishes and blessings on whole families who need time together, away from whatever their crisis may be (No.  Our mission covers ALL CRISIS and CROSSES.  This is my “cancer” , but everyone has theres. Some of us need to recognize it and the lift each other up to get us through it.  There’s always hope.  Help us spread it!!!
  • Any further medical results or updates will be posted through my blog and my TEAM BUNA FACEBOOK page.  Click and follow to stay updated.

 

Until then.. please please PLEASE!!!!!  Grab onto my thor hammer/my cross/my cancer/my diagnosis/  my SUPER POWER.

Currently, it’s my purpose and my shield . And with this imagery and this chance to pray fro all who comment here or on my PRAYER WALL with their prayer intentions…  I feel like, in my sickness, I can totally yield the most powerful opportunity of crazy talents that I never had before, when so many of my gifts from my life feel like they’re being stripped away.  Not this one.  This is new.  And I’m kinda feeling psyched about what God’s doing with it.  I mean, look at the miracle that’s already happening…..  I’VE WANTED PEOPLE TO PRAY WTIH ME AND JUST PICK UP THE PHONE TO GOD FOR MY WHOLE LIFE   Now, I’m blown away by the amount of people that are suddenly talking to the Big Guy upastairs.  That.. is……. AWESOME!!!!! Best gift you could ever give me.🙏✨💕  The best way that you could lift me up or get involved.  Knock on that guy’s door and keep talking to HIM  We can be specific  We can annoy the mess out of him with our prayers and petitions.  He likes it.  It does’t ever grow old or tired for Him.  Pick up the phone.

 

While I wait for your intentions so I can power up my “psst…. super POWER of prayer warrior ness”  I’ll be right here thinking of all the other SUPERPOWERS I may ask for if God asks for special requests.  Hmmmmm… here’s a few that could be helpful:

 

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Again, my never-ending thanks.  With every comment, text, msg, email, call or gift.  I assure you I thank you with a prayer.  No thank you note could ever be written or sent that could bless you the way that you’ve blessed me than that.  So rest assured, I feel the prayers, I see the love, and I thank each and every person (our TEAM BUNA) with a prayer and blessing on you and your family.

 

 Now.. for my next appointment of the day… where are my keys?? So it begins…

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God bless ya!  God’s GOT THIS.  Thanks for believing.  Every little thing’s gonna be alright!

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Much love, faith and prayers…

-Elise / aka: “BUNA”

 

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#GodsGotThis

#TeamBUNAELT

#BunasHOPE

#EveryLittleThingISGonnaBeALRIGHT

 

 

 

CHEMO AMMO

What does one really need to get back in the ring for another round of Chemo?

Honestly, I have no idea. Never claim to be an expert. However, I can tell ya about my personal arsenal.

(Mind you, these are in no particular order of importance, etc., just what comes to mind)

Disclaimer: By no means do I expect you to watch, listen to, or endure each link, video, or song that I’ve included in this blog in one sitting.  It’s simply a compilation of my faves.  I do insist that you click on them to get a feel for it, and if time isn’t of the essence, come back for a “feel good party” or just to get pumped up for whatever the weather is in your life at the moment or to get motivated to find your own “ammo”.  This just happens to be a small taste of mine!

……..

-1-

LIFE IS BETTER WHEN YOURE LAUGHING

Best medicine for sure!

So here’s a few funnies that keep me laughing!!

(they roll on my ipad or in my Amazon Prime library)

………

1- Gotta start with the classics, don’t we all “LOVE LUCY??”

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“I Love Lucy: Vitavitavegimen” Clip

…….

2- My recent go to clips & random Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon laugh out louds like this:

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“EW”: The Official Music Video (FYI: first half I fast forward through with my kiddos)

….pretty hilarious, esp. when feeling “EW!”

….and when trying to fathom the fact that docs, after mastectomy, were at one point considering giving me temporary “impliggies” (as the term was coined in this video), to get me through my 6 week radiation phase.  Although, it turns out I will be able to go “au natural” and use my “own tissue”‘ after all… aka: no impliggies for me!  Ha! Ha!

…….

3-  Being that we are true 80’s fans around here, any episode this series holds is truer than true to the essence of any 80’s flashback, (be it the writing, the set, the costumes…) all of it is just that good. I mean just that out loud, belly laughin’ good.

The Goldbergs

goldbergs       little lloyd dobler

As for me, I’m hooked on the show for the mother, Beverly Goldberg for many reasons.  I grew up with her, I truly believe it, in many ways, on many levels. (I mean that in the best of ways, Mom), and I am becoming her daily)  This next clip is my dedication to Bev, as one of her biggest fans:

beverly goldberg i made them with my body

A You Tube Mix of (Some of) the Best of Bev

…….

4-  I scroll through new and old SNL skits (most with Kristin Wiig, Will Farrel, maybe a few Jason Sudekis) The good ol’ crew from the 70s with Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Belushi, Chevy Chase to name a few; the 80s casts with still a few of those faces in there, and early 90s crew with Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, etc., … The list is pretty much never ending, since I was basically raised on SNL.

 I had to really learn about Disney movies for the sake of my kids because my big brothers watched Saturday Night Live, so I did too.  And loved every bit.  That’s just me.  I have to double check my Disney song lyrics with my Hubbie, and the kids know it.

I dreamed to even just be a writer with bit parts on the set to just hang out with TIna Fey and Lorne Michaels and meet the guests and hosts.  So cool!

A personal fave of many I have to post for viewing below right here. I just must share:

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Surprise Party: Christopher Walken, Kristin Wiig & More:

……

Basically,

audrey hepburn on laughing

So there’s that.  I could go on and on there.

But I should move on to the other major portions of MY arsenal.

………

-2-

My Faith. My prayers. My Life Blood.

I am all over the map as to HOW I pray.  Here’s a list if you’re wondering,  I try to shove a few varieties in my bag to take with me to infusions each day…

bag o ammo

I’m all over the map as to the ways that I pray.  I follow the rules of our mother church, and am happy and grateful for the groundings of the CHURCH and its sacraments. I soak up Mass on Sunday, the Eucharist, Confession, and Love a good basking in the “Son” in the Adoration Chapel (If you didn’t guess yet, I am Catholic.  (after many, many years of bucking the faith, turning away from it, looking elsewhere, I came “home” and am raising a family in the faith as well.  It just feels right, and we are at such peace in our family. I feel God’s presence in every step of the way.)

As for my individual prayer life… I’m totally SCHIZO.  I’m EVERYWHERE…

*Sometimes I’m very contemplative and prefer a rosary or reading the Magnificat for the readings of the day and reflections on the Saints.

*Other times, I’m more expressive and need to get my thoughts out and talk to God:

Hey, God, good morning, thanks for waking me up today…. etc.” or  “Hey, God, I have a few questions/ bones to pick.  Can you explain a few things to me, because I definitely did NOT get the memo on how things are rolling these days….”

(Whether I journal that or just say it to him with my eyes closed alone or in the Adoration chapel, is up to me and how I’m feeling that day.  Needless to say, the infusion suite kinda leaves me stuck to one place with limited choices.  So it’s eyes closed or the journal, really.  (Chapel time can be before or after, depending on my stomach and what it feels like doing that day or moment, actually)

*There are days, that I read.  I read a variety of things.  At least I start them. I’m a book STARTER.  I aim to finish them.  Honestly I do.  But I have the attention span of a gnat.  By the end of my time here, I hope to accomplish many things, have read many books, and maybe have completed 1/4 of the things I’ve pinned on Pinterest. Maybe?  I am a work in progress.  I’ve always said it and God knows that.  I’m trying.  I don’t give up, I keep trying.  So I keep the books and I do pick them back up again.  I just am easily distracted.  Aren’t we all.  Again, I hope so.  I hope I’m not alone in this seemingly mindless babble that I’m throwing out here.  Again, Oy vey!

*But my favorite, “ruby red slippered, click my heels together and I’m home for sure” way to pray is always when I sing.  Music brings it all together for me.

singing is praying twice

Here’s a very, very small few of my true Praise and Worship Song links that keep me going:

There are soooo many more… but please, click on these few links to get a glimpse:

Matt Maher: Lord I Need you (With Lyrics)

Newsboys: God’s Not Dead

Hillsong: Inside Out

Matt Maher: Rise Up

… Redundancy, I know, but I could go on and on and oooooon here.  I am in need of a good jam session. We are over due.

Which leads me to my next ball -o- Ammo

………..

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OTHER  MUSIC / TOTALLY RANDOM JAMS TO KEEP ME GOIN

for every suitable song

My fave bands, playlists, not necessarily praise and worship, but they all bring me to happy places. I can find a way to bring some holy, happy thought or memory in each tune and lift my spirit.  They keep my head in the game, a song in my heart, my body grooving, and my toes tappin’! I chose these particular few because they have meaning as to where I am and they get me in the groove to keep me pressing on right now.

(My bands and playlists depend on my mood.  If I can sing to it, dance to it, relate to it for the moment, or be connect with it for a memory or what’s going on in my heart, it’s mine  for the day. I’m an eclectic listener at best. Genres and eras are limitless)

Bob Marley: 3 Little Birds (Of course!!!)

U2: It’s A Beautiful Day (official video… honestly most of my playlists constst of U2…fave band!!)

Michael Jackson: Beat It (‘cuz I AM gonna beat this, y’all)

L.L. Cool J: Mamma Said Knock You Out (Gotta get pumped up, right!)

Diana Ross: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Cuz I’m cheesy, & there ain’t no battle I can’t fight)

…So many more, but y’all have had enough of me, & you have your own music to listen to.

…………..

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Finally, YOU are my ammo.

PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT HERE, OR ON MY PRAYER WALL with

YOUR PRAYER INTENTIONS!!!!

I want them and I mean it.  YOU keep me going and you keep me focused.

I can make my suffering redemptive if I can own it, accept it, and do something with it.  This may be my last 2 rounds of chemo, but I still have multiple surgeries, radiation, and a long journey yet ahead.

When you read my posts and blogs, pray and support and give me your intentions to offer up,

That keeps my head in the game. You are keeping me going.  I’ve said it before but,

blessthemchangeme

 I pray to ask God to bless you sevenfold for all the many prayers you have given me, and thank God for the ways YOU are changing ME.  Thank you.  You are my AMMO, too.

When they gave me my diagnosis, I simply looked at God and said “Yes.” What more could I do?  Then I started gathering my ammunition.

tina fey say yes

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  May god bless you all to find your mode of prayer, your song, and your ammo for whatever is right for your plate right now and what God knows YOU can handle on your plate, at this time.  HE knows you and has what’s needed for you, to give you the courage to say “Yes” and the freedom to let God and let God.  There is such Freedom to be had in that “Fiat”, that scary but simple “YES!”  IT’s a rollercoaster, but the greatest one out there!

Bless y’all, from the top of my baby bald head to the bottom of my toes.

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