What does one really need to get back in the ring for another round of Chemo?

Honestly, I have no idea. Never claim to be an expert. However, I can tell ya about my personal arsenal.

(Mind you, these are in no particular order of importance, etc., just what comes to mind)

Disclaimer: By no means do I expect you to watch, listen to, or endure each link, video, or song that I’ve included in this blog in one sitting.  It’s simply a compilation of my faves.  I do insist that you click on them to get a feel for it, and if time isn’t of the essence, come back for a “feel good party” or just to get pumped up for whatever the weather is in your life at the moment or to get motivated to find your own “ammo”.  This just happens to be a small taste of mine!




Best medicine for sure!

So here’s a few funnies that keep me laughing!!

(they roll on my ipad or in my Amazon Prime library)


1- Gotta start with the classics, don’t we all “LOVE LUCY??”


“I Love Lucy: Vitavitavegimen” Clip


2- My recent go to clips & random Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon laugh out louds like this:


“EW”: The Official Music Video (FYI: first half I fast forward through with my kiddos)

….pretty hilarious, esp. when feeling “EW!”

….and when trying to fathom the fact that docs, after mastectomy, were at one point considering giving me temporary “impliggies” (as the term was coined in this video), to get me through my 6 week radiation phase.  Although, it turns out I will be able to go “au natural” and use my “own tissue”‘ after all… aka: no impliggies for me!  Ha! Ha!


3-  Being that we are true 80’s fans around here, any episode this series holds is truer than true to the essence of any 80’s flashback, (be it the writing, the set, the costumes…) all of it is just that good. I mean just that out loud, belly laughin’ good.

The Goldbergs

goldbergs       little lloyd dobler

As for me, I’m hooked on the show for the mother, Beverly Goldberg for many reasons.  I grew up with her, I truly believe it, in many ways, on many levels. (I mean that in the best of ways, Mom), and I am becoming her daily)  This next clip is my dedication to Bev, as one of her biggest fans:

beverly goldberg i made them with my body

A You Tube Mix of (Some of) the Best of Bev


4-  I scroll through new and old SNL skits (most with Kristin Wiig, Will Farrel, maybe a few Jason Sudekis) The good ol’ crew from the 70s with Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Belushi, Chevy Chase to name a few; the 80s casts with still a few of those faces in there, and early 90s crew with Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, etc., … The list is pretty much never ending, since I was basically raised on SNL.

 I had to really learn about Disney movies for the sake of my kids because my big brothers watched Saturday Night Live, so I did too.  And loved every bit.  That’s just me.  I have to double check my Disney song lyrics with my Hubbie, and the kids know it.

I dreamed to even just be a writer with bit parts on the set to just hang out with TIna Fey and Lorne Michaels and meet the guests and hosts.  So cool!

A personal fave of many I have to post for viewing below right here. I just must share:


Surprise Party: Christopher Walken, Kristin Wiig & More:



audrey hepburn on laughing

So there’s that.  I could go on and on there.

But I should move on to the other major portions of MY arsenal.



My Faith. My prayers. My Life Blood.

I am all over the map as to HOW I pray.  Here’s a list if you’re wondering,  I try to shove a few varieties in my bag to take with me to infusions each day…

bag o ammo

I’m all over the map as to the ways that I pray.  I follow the rules of our mother church, and am happy and grateful for the groundings of the CHURCH and its sacraments. I soak up Mass on Sunday, the Eucharist, Confession, and Love a good basking in the “Son” in the Adoration Chapel (If you didn’t guess yet, I am Catholic.  (after many, many years of bucking the faith, turning away from it, looking elsewhere, I came “home” and am raising a family in the faith as well.  It just feels right, and we are at such peace in our family. I feel God’s presence in every step of the way.)

As for my individual prayer life… I’m totally SCHIZO.  I’m EVERYWHERE…

*Sometimes I’m very contemplative and prefer a rosary or reading the Magnificat for the readings of the day and reflections on the Saints.

*Other times, I’m more expressive and need to get my thoughts out and talk to God:

Hey, God, good morning, thanks for waking me up today…. etc.” or  “Hey, God, I have a few questions/ bones to pick.  Can you explain a few things to me, because I definitely did NOT get the memo on how things are rolling these days….”

(Whether I journal that or just say it to him with my eyes closed alone or in the Adoration chapel, is up to me and how I’m feeling that day.  Needless to say, the infusion suite kinda leaves me stuck to one place with limited choices.  So it’s eyes closed or the journal, really.  (Chapel time can be before or after, depending on my stomach and what it feels like doing that day or moment, actually)

*There are days, that I read.  I read a variety of things.  At least I start them. I’m a book STARTER.  I aim to finish them.  Honestly I do.  But I have the attention span of a gnat.  By the end of my time here, I hope to accomplish many things, have read many books, and maybe have completed 1/4 of the things I’ve pinned on Pinterest. Maybe?  I am a work in progress.  I’ve always said it and God knows that.  I’m trying.  I don’t give up, I keep trying.  So I keep the books and I do pick them back up again.  I just am easily distracted.  Aren’t we all.  Again, I hope so.  I hope I’m not alone in this seemingly mindless babble that I’m throwing out here.  Again, Oy vey!

*But my favorite, “ruby red slippered, click my heels together and I’m home for sure” way to pray is always when I sing.  Music brings it all together for me.

singing is praying twice

Here’s a very, very small few of my true Praise and Worship Song links that keep me going:

There are soooo many more… but please, click on these few links to get a glimpse:

Matt Maher: Lord I Need you (With Lyrics)

Newsboys: God’s Not Dead

Hillsong: Inside Out

Matt Maher: Rise Up

… Redundancy, I know, but I could go on and on and oooooon here.  I am in need of a good jam session. We are over due.

Which leads me to my next ball -o- Ammo




for every suitable song

My fave bands, playlists, not necessarily praise and worship, but they all bring me to happy places. I can find a way to bring some holy, happy thought or memory in each tune and lift my spirit.  They keep my head in the game, a song in my heart, my body grooving, and my toes tappin’! I chose these particular few because they have meaning as to where I am and they get me in the groove to keep me pressing on right now.

(My bands and playlists depend on my mood.  If I can sing to it, dance to it, relate to it for the moment, or be connect with it for a memory or what’s going on in my heart, it’s mine  for the day. I’m an eclectic listener at best. Genres and eras are limitless)

Bob Marley: 3 Little Birds (Of course!!!)

U2: It’s A Beautiful Day (official video… honestly most of my playlists constst of U2…fave band!!)

Michael Jackson: Beat It (‘cuz I AM gonna beat this, y’all)

L.L. Cool J: Mamma Said Knock You Out (Gotta get pumped up, right!)

Diana Ross: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Cuz I’m cheesy, & there ain’t no battle I can’t fight)

…So many more, but y’all have had enough of me, & you have your own music to listen to.



Finally, YOU are my ammo.



I want them and I mean it.  YOU keep me going and you keep me focused.

I can make my suffering redemptive if I can own it, accept it, and do something with it.  This may be my last 2 rounds of chemo, but I still have multiple surgeries, radiation, and a long journey yet ahead.

When you read my posts and blogs, pray and support and give me your intentions to offer up,

That keeps my head in the game. You are keeping me going.  I’ve said it before but,


 I pray to ask God to bless you sevenfold for all the many prayers you have given me, and thank God for the ways YOU are changing ME.  Thank you.  You are my AMMO, too.

When they gave me my diagnosis, I simply looked at God and said “Yes.” What more could I do?  Then I started gathering my ammunition.

tina fey say yes

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  May god bless you all to find your mode of prayer, your song, and your ammo for whatever is right for your plate right now and what God knows YOU can handle on your plate, at this time.  HE knows you and has what’s needed for you, to give you the courage to say “Yes” and the freedom to let God and let God.  There is such Freedom to be had in that “Fiat”, that scary but simple “YES!”  IT’s a rollercoaster, but the greatest one out there!

Bless y’all, from the top of my baby bald head to the bottom of my toes.




19 thoughts on “CHEMO AMMO

  1. Yoh give me Courage to face my insecurities, fears, doubts, flaws!! I ordered your shirt to remind me of you, your family, your cross. I pray for you continually and your family.

    Allison Vatter


    • So glad you got a shirt. We are all a team here, can’t do it alone. I never want Team Buna to be about me, it’s about all of us and all of our journeys. we all have all of that junk that you’ve mentioned. We sure ain’t perfect. But we can all help each other by praying that we keep on picking up our crosses and embracing them, right? The cross has a resurrection and that’s gorgeous!!!!


  2. Your suggestions here were awesome and thanks so much for continuing this blog which touches and lifts spirits for many . Please pray for a little baby in Utero last name Hines . The diagnosis is Mosaic trisomy 16 and praying it is just in the placenta and not in the baby . Thank-you for offering your suffering for others and may God bless you and keep you safe in His Care .


  3. Elise,
    You are wonderful and we are blessed to know you and have you praying for us in the midst of your rollercoaster. Read all your ammo and connect with ya on many fronts besides “Beautiful Day,” beltin’ out songs to soothe the heart and being eclectic in prayer style, but I’ve learned a whole lot more from you about rejoicing in that “yes” to surrendering to God’s will. With that, His choice to have us move back to CA is a bittersweet one for many reasons; grateful to be back but find the upset of my kids’ routines and social life very uncomfortable…. but that’s it… uncomfortable. It’s a far cry from your pain. So, though admittedly insignificant, I’d be super grateful if you’d say a li’l prayer for my kiddos as they transition to life in a new home, school, state, etc.
    Sending lots of prayers up for you!


  4. Elise, you are an amazing person and your faith is incredible. I love that you want to offer up others’ prayer intentions. What strength you have. But I know it is with Gods grace that you are able to do this. I ask you to please pray for my nephew. He is so lost at this point in his life and needs to know God’s love and grace. I will keep you in my prayers that you will beat this dreadful disease and that God continues to show his love to you every day. All my best. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Bonnie


    • I am happy to pray for your nephew that he finds peace and the ability to surrender to the chance of God and his way or enlightenment. Its hard to let go of control and our own crutches that hold us back. I’ve got him on my list of offerings for this round and always. Much love
      Elise (“buna”)


  5. Thank you Elise for sharing your experience, the good and the challenges!! Im sure you are a ray of hope who are going through similar or other things in this life!! i have to say The Lord i know loves it when yoou speak from the heart, for He created it!! Keep shining and smiling and kick cancers butt!!!!!;)


  6. Elise, you don’t know me, but I am a friend of Mary Collins – I just want to let you know that I am just a teeny example of the MANY, MANY people who lift you and your family up in prayer every, single day. I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for YOU every day and keep you in prayer. We’ve got your back, so…no worries, girl! You are amazing in every way. Suzan


  7. Hey Elise –
    You are a rockstar and an inspiration to me! As a fellow mother of 5 and FUS alum, I pray for you and your family daily. Some days it ain’t easy just being mom let alone fighting cancer at the same time. You give me such encouragement. If you could keep my mom “Granny” in your prayers as we find a doctor who can treat her chronic migraines I’d appreciate it. She is praying for you too!


  8. Thanks for sharing the humor and music that buoy you up. I imagine us all like tall trees close together like in a pine stand. When we are gathered around you in our prayers and thoughts then you cannot fall over.


  9. Elise, since you ask for prayer intentions, pray for our little unborn child – we just found yesterday that his little heart had stopped beating…
    I have to tell you that you are beautiful through and through, and really just a lot of fun to read. God bless you and thank you for letting your personality shine through even in the midst of adversity.


    • Hi I’m so sorry for not getting back to you sooner but please know that I have been lifting you up in prayer every day. I have known this law as we have miscarried 3 babies as well. It hurts like nothing else. I am so very sorry. I will hold this intention close in my heart and will continue to pray for you daily. god bless you and your loving mother’s heart.


  10. Pingback: Fighting the Fight…My Journey | Team Buna

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