What a Mighty Good Man

“What a Man. What a Man. What a Man. What a Mighty Good Man…”Salt ‘N’ Peppa

jason and me new years

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REPOSTING THIS FROM ONE YEAR AGO AS TODAY IS MY HUBBIE’S BDAY! HAPPY HAPPY BDAY, TO “A MIGHTY GOOD MAN!” I don’t think I can say my appreciation for him much better than this post from 1 year ago. Sums it up.
ENJOY! -Elise/Buna (Jan 24, 2016)

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(Begin Post from January 2015)…

This weekend, we celebrated a pretty cool guy. (Clearly, I’m putting it mildly.) It was my Hubbie’s B-day.

Saturday celebrated the annual day that I get down on my knees, look up to Heaven and thank a most amazing woman (whom I pray to one day meet), my man’s mama, Wendy (who passed when he was just 6 years old).  I thank her for saying”Yes” to life and giving us this amazing guy that I now get to have as my husband and the father to our big ol’ house-o-kids.  Because of her beautiful self and the handsome Italian genes of my father-in-law, Claude, I must say… we’ve got a pretty cute house full over here!  It’s not without mention to my hubbie’s late stepmother/my mother-in-law, Martha, who also said yes, to jumping right in to their fam and raising this “treehouse-roof-jumpin'”, “puppy-dog-eyes-to-try-to-get-away-with-it”, “Wonder Years-Fred Savage-look-alike-little boy” and his 2 siblings, and never look back.  I thank you, too, and we’ll never forget you, Nana.

All that being said, look at the man who I got!  He’s everything I could have prayed and wished for, and more.

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He’s A BIG KID AT HEART

Very important to this girl, who… rather than leaving Pre-school summer day camp (Shout out to, Mrs. Gay Bennett’s Day Camp by the Bogue Falaya River. Anyone??). I simply evolved to: “Biggest kid in camp, to “Jr.-Jr.counselor”, to “Jr. Counselor”,  then Counselor, then Early Childhood Ed. major in college, to kindergarten teacher, to mother with Peter Pan complex married to man with Peter Pan complex.  Perfect! 🙂

cookies!!!

Notice daughter (Sunshine) jealous of his tiny cookie decorating skills matched with his pride over a job well done

slip n slide

Never underestimate the fun of a “good ol’ boy” and his “slip n slide” (pictured here: Daddy and Sidekick …circa 2010?)

  *Like a big kid, it never takes long for Daddy to clear a path and let the kids count how many back handsprings he can do on each beach trip. “Go, Daddy, go!” (pics below)

BACK HANDSPRING  BACK HAN

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HE’S AN AMA-ZA-ZA-ZING DAD

I mean really. This guy is a total puddle with all these girls, and a definite hero to The Dude.  If there’s an opportunity to teach them about how to shoot a bow and arrow in the backyard, go fishing at the crack of dawn, enjoy a gorgeous day at the zoo (even if it means taking him by myself when I have work), bestow his knowledge of 80’s movies and music through movie marathons and dance parties, or whatever other adventure the kids come up with…this man is all over it.  And some how, some way, if you have EVER met him, you know he’s figured out a way to weave in some analogies of FAITH into each activity.  He’s never taken the term “father” loosely and will spend every last breath, giving it his allAll for the Glory of God and his Family.  That’s a good dad, I tell ya.

baby daddy

Those girls have him wrapped around their fingers from the start! (pictured here: Daddy and Snuggles, Dec 2013)

daddy salon

Painting Sunshine’s Nails while the Dude learns how “to serve”

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He’s always up for a PARTY…and a COSTUME!

We’re a rare combo in a couple. Two extroverted-extroverts.  We loooove people and loooove a party! That being said, since I basically grew up in a theater with my mom as an actress and a director…. I loooooove costumes.  As I told my pal, Regina (matchmaker to me and the Hubs. Woop! Woop!) the other day, “I love playing dress up. Kids are just a good excuse!”  And my man agrees, for the most part.  It always starts off with him looking at me and my costume proposal as though I’ve asked him to fly to the moon and back with his own set of wings.  Then, at the last minute, not only is he putting on the costume, but he’s adding details, a character back story, and an accent.  Yup, it was must meant to be.

indians

Ready for a Thanksgiving get together with some ol’ highschool buds 🙂

Danny (Daddy), Sandy (Mommy), Frenchie (Sidekick), PattySimcox (Sunshine), Kanicky &Greased Lightnin (The Dude)

“Grease is the Word” (Halloween 2009)

Clark Kent (Daddy), 6 mos prego Wonderwoman (Mommy), Spidergirl (Sidekcik), Supergirl (Sunshine), Batman (the Dude)

The SuperFam (Halloween 2010)

Qui Gon Gin (Daddy), Chewbakka (Mommy), Princess Leia (Sidekick), Padme (Sunshine), Obi Wan (The Dude), Ewok (Firecracker)

May the Force be With Us (Halloween 2011)

Park Rangers (Mom & Dad), Peacock (Bella), Cheetah (Sunshine), Falcon (The Dude), Tiger (Firecracker)

Wild Thingz (Halloween 2012)

My opinion.... best lookin' pirate around.  Look out, Johnny Depp!

Capn’ Jack with His Pirate Wench and Babe (2014)

ARRRRRRRR!!!!!

Our Pirate Crew (Halloween 2014)

 

I went disco, He went 80s... but we sported the Fros together in style!

Gettin Wiggy With it! (October 2014)

 

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Treats me like a Queen

Growing up as such a tomboy myself, I never thought I’d know what to do if someone really “rolled out the red carpet” for me.  In fact, when he proposed (once I realized what was happening), I paused for a sec to try to see if I had any tears like “other girls” (since that seemed like the stereotypical thing to do), but I didn’t.  So, I did what came natural to my “tomboy roots” and tackled and hit him a bunch shouting “Are you joking? Are you serious? You gotta be kidding?!“… Only, I forgot to say, “Yes“, leaving him in a panic, wondering what the heck my reaction meant.  Oops.

That’s kinda how things have always been.  Not normal.  Yet, he puts up with me.  He loves me.  And no matter how “not cookie-cutter-like” his woman is, he treats me like a queen.  He’s chivalrous to no end.  No matter how rushed we are to get out of the house with our big ol’ family, he still opens the car door for me.  No matter how hungry he is and juicy his steak, he always offers me “the best bite”… of every dish (Without my asking. Be it a meal, dessert, or snack, he always offers.).  His daddy raised him well.

cozumel

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He exemplifies what it means “TO SERVE”

Not quite 3 weeks ago, I went through the most major surgery of my life.  I was under for 10 hours.  This guy didn’t spend the day watching t.v., playing games on his phone, or anything else that would be totally normal and expected for such a long day.  I had packed our case of DVDs for he and my family to watch in our hospital room, be able to have a good laugh at, and lift their spirits from worrying about me.  I mean, that’s what I would do:  pray some, laugh some.  But not him.  He “one-upped” me.  (Punk!)  He never stopped praying.  He prayed and he fasted.  All. Day. Long.  That’s the kind of guy that he is.  (He’s making me look bad, right??) Seriously though, he’s good as gold and was determined to not give up until he saw my eyes open.

When my nurse mentioned it was time for me to stand up the next morning and take my first steps, he was there.  When the nurse took me in for my first shower and mentioned that I wouldn’t be able to do it myself and would need help with the care and cleaning of my 4 new major wounds, drains and incisions while getting in and out of the shower, as well as getting dressed … he didn’t bat an eye.  He was there.  When I stepped out of the shower, and couldn’t handle looking in the mirror at myself, he was there to turn me around, hold me up and tell me I was beautiful.  And I knew he meant it.  Even when I couldn’t see it for myself, he reminded me of what he could see.

When it was time to empty the 4 drains that had to become my new best friends,  not only was he there, but he asked the nurse if she would teach him so he could do them.  In fact, nurses said he was setting records for “most drains emptied by a caregiver while still in the hospital”.  Just as he knelt down on is knee to ask me to marry him, he knelt every morning and every evening to repeat this “drain ritual” with me, turning something that could have been awful to something beautiful. How?  Because, after over 12 years of marriage, 5 kids, 3 miscarriages, and what had become a “very busy life”, we had these quiet moments together where all I could do was humble myself, sit, and let my husband get down on his knee again… and love me with all of his heart.  I’ll never forget that.

the sun loved the moon so much

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What more can I say?

I truly don’t know what I’d do without this guy.  He’s anything and everything I could have asked for, and then some.  He makes me look like a terrible person and feel like an amazing person, all at the same time; both because he’s so stinkin’ good that I could just never keep up and because he brings out the best in me all at once.  He’s about as genuine as they come. That’s what I’ve always been so drawn to.  His heart is as pure and as good as gold.  I’ve never met anyone like that in all my life. I’ve never known someone with that strong of a desire to will to do “good”.  It’s both admirable and totally intriguing to me on a daily basis.  I live in awe of his golden heart and desire for Heaven.

#StayGoldPonyBoy

I’ve always felt like I could be the very reason why they say the phrase “Curiosity kills the cat, ya know?!”  I’ve always had an irresistible urge to touch fire a few times before I learn that it really does burn.  God knows that.  He knows me and knows, like all of us, that I’m a work in progress.  I know God put this steadfast, rock-solid husband of mine in my life to keep me grounded and keep our family’s compass headed in the right direction.

where you go i will go

*And, Babe, no matter how difficult I can be, you know I love you for all that you for it all. Because, with all my heart, I want the same things for us, too. I am so grateful for every sacrifice you make for us and the love that you give us.

  I LOVE YOU.  

YOU ARE MY HERO.

Happy Birthday

mommy daddy kiss

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LIFE… is a Precious ROLLERCOASTER

LIFE

Life… it is indeed a rollercoaster.  And oh, the yin-and yang of the ride.  You love them, you desperately can’t wait to get on them, and then the butterflies in your stomach and second guesses that creep in as you scoot closer and closer to the front of the ride, compounded by the later blood curdling screams as you fling side to side, upside down and all around!  Don’t forget about the faces.  You know, the “gorgeous” ones the ride’s cameras seem to catch just perfectly for all other riders to slowly pass and ponder over after the ride… forever etched in their brains. Caught on film to be put into someone’s scrapbook to take out and laugh about for years to come….or, better yet, thrown onto YouTube for all to see… for ETERNITY!!! Oh joy!

ROLLER COASTER FUNNY1

I do love rollercoasters.  Yet, this rollercoaster I’m on, I’m not always so sure about.  I can’t explain my emotions, I’m up when you’d think I’d be down or vice versa, or even sideways… or really anyway in between than what one might think.  I’m all over the map.

I hate to say that “ya kinda have to go through it to get it“, because I don’t always believe that’s fair.  Yet, sometimes I find it to be true in some situations only to more closely relate to the particular subject at hand. Otherwise, I feel we ALL have common threads to whatever is on our plates in all stories.  THAT’S WHY I BLOG.  There’s no need to compare or undermine our circumstances; rather, I believe we have what we have  on our shoulders for a reason and can share and grow with and from one another positively vs. alone.  Don’t ya think?

(side tracking….. Back to my rollercoaster….)

ROLLERCOASTER2

I gotta say I don’t always know quite how I feel about this roller coaster.  The ride is bumpy, and even when we feel the high and the joy of fabulous news, it’s hard for our family to fully embrace it, because we know we’re still on the ride.

What do I mean by that?

We found out that we were “Cancer FREE” last week and celebrated with a dance party , ice cream sundaes and invited cousins over for more fun with king cake and cheers.  However, just before family came over, many of us caught ourselves clamming up and closing off.  My eldest daughter (Sidekick) mentioned not wanting to have any cake, just having a “normal playdate”. I didn’t want any wine (And I looove my vino! I mean, really. Call a doctor when mama doesn’t have her glass of the good grape in her hand!  But I just wanted to hang out and not many any toasts or cheers. “Let’s just call this a get together“, I said as my sis-in-law was texting my brother, “not a ‘celebration’, just a “get together”.  Why?

I knew exactly why. Ya see, there’s this fear that many other survivors have mentioned to me that they’ve experienced, and I’m feeling already as well.  A fear that when I tell people that I’m “cancer free” that they’ll simply high-five me, move on, and forget about me  while I still have 2/3rds of a marathon left to run.

god is with me

As far as our Angelette clan can see, their mom/wife is bald, recovering from one major 10 hour surgery with 4 “train tracks” of stitches and bruises, while preparing for radiation, with more surgeries and chemo ahead.   Bare with me a sec, I sound like a whiner.  I swear I’m not! In fact, I just am in the middle of doing heaps of laundry and anything else I can try to “do” because I don’t like people to give me sympathy and “do it ALL for me”… I’m just stating facts for a moment.  It’s only a moment…. But, I have a family of 5 little kiddos that look at me and don’t “see” cancer-free.  My kids want to “see” my long blonde hair again (not a wig either).  When we say “Mommy is all better, no more cancer!” Then, they don’t want me to have any more treatments, and want to see my hair on my head, where they can brush it!  So, please forgive them if they don’t get too excited when you hug them about our great “news”.  They truly are very happy about it. And we are beyond grateful for that news.  We’ve been cuttin’ a rug at home with one another!  Seriously.  (We can really bring some “game” when it comes to Wii Dance Party if anyone’s up for the challenge?? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller??)  But, we ain’t done, and they know it.  They fear your hug means… you think we’re “done”.  The fear is that you’ll leave now.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME

That fear is real to many, many patients over there at the Mary Bird Perkins Cancer Center, and I’m sure, to many of you who’ve struggled with any major health issue, burden, or loss.  The second half of the journey is often, even more emotionally, the hardest.  You fear your supporters will wear out.  And without you, and your prayers and love, where would we be?

And then it hit me… in more ways than one…

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A FELLOW CANCER FIGHTER… GETS HIS WINGS

A fellow graduate from Franciscan University of Steubenville, Paul Coakley, had been fighting to live for his wife and his family of 3 young children (with another due in April), with everything he had. As Doctors said, “he’s been living on sheer will power”.  On Tuesday, January 20th, 2015, his soul passed. Or better yet, he left this earth to go be a daddy to his 4 other little angels in Heaven while his wife, Ann, stayed back with their angels that are here on Earth.  Heart breaking.  But the honor and beauty of their faith and the strength of this fighter was above and beyond saintly.

Paulprayforus

After simply “not feeling very well” this fall, this guy was diagnosed just a few short months ago with one form of cancer, which quickly spread throughout his body to other forms of cancer and threw their family on the fast track to facing life decisions and threw so many families and communities all around the world, like YOU have, onto their knees like unbelievable PRAYER WARRIORS. THAT was the miracle. The power of so many people uniting in prayer, talking to God.

I know both you would be blessed to read their story, and they would be blessed by your prayers at this time, as they’ve made their TEAM PAUL and ANN COAKLEY page public for just that, PRAYER.  PLEASE JOIN US:

FACEBOOK: TEAM PAUL AND ANN COAKLEY

How can you help? Click link below to:

YOU CARING DONATION SITE: COAKLEY FAMILY

teenager post

Dear Paul, you were one adventurous guy at Steubie U (known for leading groups to jump bridges into the Ohio River! among many other stories told). You’ve inspired us all by your sheer will power to fight and live for your family and your demonstration of what marriage and family really is.  Ann, we won’t stop praying for and lifting you and your family up. We know it’s not over for you. God’s peace and courage be with you now, and with your children.

#prayforpaul

#prayforannandthecoakleykids

COAKLEY

**going link crazy here, but yet another link to blog post about the adventurous “legend” that he was:

PAUL COAKLEY TRIBUTE

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PERSPECTIVE

Our whole family had been on our knees, every child in our family had teamed up to match a family member in theirs.  We prayed with all our heart with so many other families all over the world, literally.  To hear this news… was a punch in the gut on so many levels.  I cried, and cried, and cried some more.  I know that at I hadn’t known Paul well.  I know that so many were so very close to this man and are experiencing such great loss on such a deeper level.  I merely knew him as an acquaintance from school, as he was a  few years behind me, I believe? But, his diagnosis and his struggle made everything that we’d been faced with so real.  It slapped our whole family in the face and rocked our world.  We wanted him to win so badly.  I hated that cancer so much.  I do.  I hate that ugly, rotten, cancer.  

My kids looked at me with giant puppy eyes, “Did he make it? Is Mr.Paul still here? Was there a miracle?”  They knew I had something to tell them last night at our night prayers when they looked up at our “#PRAYFORPAUL” sign on our prayer shelf in our living room.  “Well, Guys, Mr.Paul is still a daddy with his babies, but with his 4 babies in Heaven, just like our 3 little babies in Heaven.  He fought with all of his might for his family, and He told Jesus ‘your will be done’ pretty much.  He’s a real warrior.  He fought harder than anything, but God knew it was best for him to come ‘home’ now so his body would feel no more pain.  He loved his family and his faith more than anything.  He’d be proud of the miracle that did happen.  The miracle in the ‘gazillion’ people that got on their knees to pray.  I bet he’s pretty darn proud of that! Now let’s keep praying for him and for his family and asking for Mr.Paul and his angel babies to pray for us, too.”  And we did.  We all prayed, teary eyed.  It hit home pretty hard. But we prayed. And we won’t stop.

That could have been us.  Dear, God, that could have been us. Thank you, Sweet Lord.  This roller coaster of life is just that, a crazy, up, down, and all around ride.  But, as the previous meme depicted, It’s a ride. I bought a ticket, and I’m hanging on until they kick me off.  I am sooooo ridiculously thankful that for whatever reason, God sees my time’s not up yet.  I agree, dang it! I’m not gonna take that for granted.  I celebrate my “cancer free” announcement. I now move on and will “keep my head in the game”, but seize the days of life in general.   Yes, I’m recovering from surgery, and “yes” I have a road ahead…. but that doesn’t mean I can’t live and do whatever I feel I can when I can, because God gave me a gift to stay here with my children that I should be so grateful for. “Cancer-free” means that I can move through the treatments ahead without a looming question over my head of, “Is this working?” Praise God!!!

I’m so humbled to be given this opportunity and, mark my words, I will pay it forward and give back.  Somehow, some way. I have to.

LOSE YOURSELF SERVING OTHERS

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MUSIC GETS ME THROUGH IT…

The best way I can sum all the crazy roller coaster of emotions is a bit like this (and this is only a drop in the bucket of my “never-ending play list” of tunes running through my head, “keeping my head in the game” these days):

*Other than, of course my usual “3 Little Birds” & “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough“, … here’s a few more

A GIRLS FAVORITE SONGS

(feel free to click each link below to jam along, most with video included)

RAY CHARLES:HIT THE ROAD JACK  (bye bye, cancer!)

CHUMBAWUMBA: I GET KNOCKED DOWN

GLORIA GAYNOR: I WILL SURVIVE

ELTON JOHN: I’M STILL STANDING (hilarious video!!)

BEYONCE: I’M A SURVIVOR

DON’T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME – “BREAKFAST CLUB” VIDEO

U2: BEAUTIFUL DAY (perfect windows-down-driving song!)

DAVID CROWDER: OH PRAISE HIM (Amazing video…good stuff!)

Enjoy.

Thank You

Thank you for not giving up on us, or for the repose of my previously mentioned fellow college grad, Paul’s, soul and his wife, Ann, and their family.

Thank you for always sending me your prayer requests. There are so many of you whom I know are struggling just like me, and I haven’t forgotten, nor will I give up on you. It’s a roller coaster.  I bought a ticket and I’m not letting go.  You’re prayers are keeping my grip strong and my worries light.  I hope you feel it reciprocated. Thank you.

“…It’s gonna be alright.” –Bob Marley

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